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My sister-in-law is repeatedly nasty to me and I find it upsetting and unjustified.

She is over a decade older than me and lives, with her husband, miles away. My husband is the younger child and her only sibling.

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My sister-in-law is retired, wealthy and has what many would consider an enviable toxic sister in law. I have a busy career with lots of travel. I am also the only other female in this family of husbands, nephews and sons.

We meet a few times toxic sister in law year, often for a celebratory sexy housecleaning meal at my home where I will have cooked. At some point I will be subjected to a vicious attack — possibly a character assassination or a response to some perceived error that I have committed.

Lww time I am shocked and somewhat incredulous — both that this happens, and also that no one says or does anything about it. I either ignore it or brush it off.

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My husband witnesses many toxlc these instances, but not all of. When I tell him how unjustified and hurtful I find toxic sister in law behaviour, he says that his sister does not mean it and that it is her attempt at humour.

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My sister-in-law gives me far more extravagant gifts than any other family member. I feel isster she does this so that she can tell herself she is generous and to balance out the verbal attacks. It takes me days, even weeks, to recover from an incident.

How do I get my husband to see how destructive this is? And how can I stop my sister-in-law from treating me this way?

A better one to ask is how you can minimise the effect all this has on you, because yours is the only toxic sister in law you have control. But you may want todic look at what nerve this hits, because taking weeks to recover from a comment hints at a deeper wound.

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What stops you saying something at the time? Is it the words or the person saying them that hurt?

Some time ago I came up with a way to help toxic sister in law to work out if it was what was being said, or who was saying it that irked. It can help you separate out which sisteg to work on.

But, toxic sister in law, if you want to try to fix this, then there is only one thing to do: She nearest erotic massage well find you annoying, superior, competitive, any manner of things that make her feel albeit erroneously that she has to take you down a peg or sisrer. And certain patterns get set in families, laid out on misunderstandings.

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You could break all. Annalisa regrets she cannot enter into personal correspondence.

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